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To die is to have lived.

October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. There are plenty of places for statistics; just not here. I think statistics can sometimes breed to separation, dehumanization and rationalization.


Jasper is not a statistic.


He is a person.


He is a much loved and much wanted little boy who lived. And as people always do, he died.


To die is to have lived.


Jasper’s story is more than his death.


A few weeks after Jasper died, I had lunch with a friend, and she asked me if I was up for telling her Jasper’s birth story. It was such a gift to be asked.


Jasper’s story is more than his death.


Another friend found out she was pregnant soon after Jasper died. She has honored my motherhood in ways I did not know I needed. She did not separate her pregnancy from mine. She did not separate her baby from Jasper. This has been the greatest honor to Jasper’s personhood.


Jasper’s story is more than his death.


A friend has remembered Jasper on the 5th of every month. She thinks of him on random days, and tells me what made her think of him.


Even this picture (which sorta looks like an angel shadow with a heart), sent to me by a friend who has loved Jasper since he was just a hope in our hearts, means so much.




There is a place beyond awareness - a place that endures far longer than sympathy.


To those who have gone there with me, thank you for loving Jasper and getting to know him.


Jasper’s story is more than his death.

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